The Simple Truth is: That Friends Come and Go

Funny how life can be sometimes. Just when you think you have it figured out, something pops up to remind you just how much you still have to learn. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot protect your children from everything.

When Pup was born, I promised him that I would never let anything happen to him. Obviously that isn’t true or even remotely possible because he has his own lessons to learn. The first time I figured that out was when he started primary school. The second time, the lesson was reinforced by that “Finding Nemo” movie. Obviously I am still yet to learn this lesson because it simply has not sunk in.

For reasons of her own, I’ve long suspected that GA has ‘strongly encouraged’ the friendship between the boys. We changed primary schools when they were in Year 2 and she followed.

According to his mum, if he didn’t go to the same high school as Pup, he simply wouldn’t attend.
According to his mum, he is always so desperate to come to our place (including Christmas Day).
According to his mum, he has thoughts that are far beyond his capabilities.

I write this with pure honesty because the boy does have problems with learning, co-ordination and memory. This obviously does not include the stuff he is interested in. But as a mum of 3 boys, I thought that was simply a male trait. Although, I must confess I have the same problem…maybe it’s contagious!

Now the high school era has started and there are more fish in the pond, her son seems to be trying his very best to meet them all. I guess I should be proud that he is actually trying his best at something, but I’m more disappointed with his attitude. The nicest way of putting it is that along the way, he is distancing himself from Pup. The truth is though, that he is not doing it in a ‘nice’ way. I won’t go into details because I will be here forever but suffice to say that Pup is feeling hurt, betrayed and confused. We’ve had few chats, and let him know that we, Nana and Pops are here for him.

The upside is that one of the ‘fish’ live up the road from ‘The Friend’ and has visited there a few times. With GA’s encouragement, they walked to our place, so now the new ‘Potential Friend’ knows where we live. I told Pup to let him know he is welcome to visit here too. He did, and I was really looking forward to today for two reasons. First, I want to tackle ‘The Friend’ on some ‘issues’ – mainly that bullying is not acceptable! I feel I have that right because I have known him for so long, and if his mum doesn’t deal with it either through ignorance or blinkers then I will. And second, I wanted to know whether ‘Potential Friend’ would turn up solo or not.

Final result? ‘Potential Friend’ turned up solo. And stayed all day! Seems very polite, makes eye contact when talking but didn’t want lunch. I have a problem with that because kids (people) need to eat. We have an ‘Open Cupboard’ policy, where you can eat what’s in the fridge or cupboard but when it’s gone – too bad! I did tell him that but he didn’t feel comfortable or ready to check them out until it was almost time for him to go home (he has to be home by 5).

Nana and Pops gave us some frozen mango (I love mango but don’t buy them because they cost too much – I have expensive taste). I defrosted some and offered them around. He declined at first but then admitted he had never tried one. I replied, “Probably because they cost more than they are worth, I don’t buy them. Have a taste” To his credit, he did and now likes mango! (Sorry to his mum who might now have a request for mangoes on the shopping list)

I'm ready to let go of my friendship with GA but is Pup? With love and support he might be...

Take care,
C

PS – I don’t like the word ‘nice’ it is too easy to use and covers far too many other better words.

What is it about blogs and their appeal?

Is it because you can read someone else’s thoughts behind the illusion of anonymity, or is it something more?

Maybe it’s an attempt to connect with other people, looking for support or advice from someone in a similar situation. That way, maybe, you don’t feel so alone, isolated or unique…

How many of us know the names of our neighbours and actually know a bit about their life stories?

A few months back, we received a letter in the mail that quite clearly belonged to the ‘new’ next-door neighbour. Being the ‘good neighbour’ that I am, I thought I’d just wander over and pop it in their mailbox… And so I did…

Just a quick background note – I almost never go outside barefoot and without the morning shower. But on this day I did both! I am also pretty much a recluse…

And so! Imagine my surprise, when I was tiptoeing over the grass to the mailbox to suddenly hear from the new neighbour (in his shed), “Where are your shoes?” I was mortified and immediately apologized, explaining I was from next door, and was just returning his mail…

Then he recognized me – And started talking! I was out in the sun, unshowered and barefoot for one hour and twenty minutes! (Anyone who knows me thinks this is funny) But this man was so clearly desperate to talk to someone, that well-mannered girl that I am, I simply had to oblige…

My rescuer in this situation was, of course, my hubby! He came home and was equally stunned to see me standing, barefoot, next door having a chat! He joined in the conversation and I was able to leave and go take that shower! (and put shoes on)

In the light of recent Australian events, my thought now is - 'We teach our children not to talk to strangers but when should they be told it’s OK now?'

Another week

In no particular order, the highlights include:
- Zimbabwe has a new Prime Minister
- Australian has experience both massive floods and bushfires
- Bought a mobile phone for eldest son
- Decided on new nicknames for the boys

Let’s work backwards, shall we? Starting with new names for the boys… Their initials sound a little bit clinical and don’t really reflect their personalities, so based on the Chinese calendar, I have decided that on this blog they will now known as:
D. Pup, (Rat – definitely better than Kitten)
J. Cub, (Tiger) and
S. Foal (Horse)

Wish me luck remembering who is who!!!

We finally succumbed to ‘peer pressure’ from ‘Good Authority’ (GA) and bought Pup a mobile phone. That alone was a saga! Do you have the time? Oh all right then…

GA lives up the road from us – seriously 8 minutes walk… Her son and mine happen to be “Best Friends” and have been since Year 1. I have various thoughts about GA but at the end of the day she is still a friend of mine – so please don’t get me wrong when I whinge about her… She seems to think because they are both now in ‘high school’ they need to grow up. And Fast! I have to wonder about the rush though – they are both 12 years old and live in Australia…

Back to the phone…
Buying the phone is the easy bit but have you actually tried to activate it? You can activate said product either via phone (Read: Talking to a really helpful person from another country who has absolutely no idea what you are saying and then wants to argue the point with you) or via Internet. Guess which option I chose! Internet Activation – Easy!

You’d think it was the easy choice but - No! It was almost as painful and tedious as the phone call! Who knew that that the Internet choice would be so difficult! I did not consider myself to be a computer illiterate person before this experience but now I have to confess, I did have a moment of doubt!

OK - Moment of doubt has now gone!

Back to more serious stuff…

The flooding in Northern Queensland and the bushfires in Victoria are both examples of the extremes in this country. It is truly heartbreaking to read and hear of the devastation in both areas. I have no profound words to express the total despair the people involved must feel. Actually, I am not even going to try, except to say that my heart goes out to them and that they are in my thoughts. (It really does make you appreciate what you do have.)

Finally, just a message to the new PM in Zimbabwe. Good luck mate! Please do everything in your power to do the things you said you would. I look forward to reading about your progress in rebuilding the country. I don’t think it will be easy because even though you say President Mugabe “is not the obstacle” you are facing, it is fairly certain that he will do absolutely everything to hinder you. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/feb/14/mugabe-tsvangirai-zimbabwe viewed 14/02/09)

I have no idea on how to do it but I’d suggest starting with the basic necessities – food, water and proper money. A full belly will probably endear you to the majority of the starving… And then, maybe, you will have their support… A bit idealistic, I know but this subject deserves a post all by itself. Obviously, I have more thoughts but this post is getting a bit long, so till then,

Take care,
C

A Bit Of My story (so far)

I have had a very interesting week. Actually, it was a very emotional week where the negatives have so far out weighed the positives. I wrote them down along the way and tried desperately to find the appropriate opposite, simply to balance them out in my mind but as you can see there was no success:

Negative:
Uncertain
Chaos
Nervous
Worried
Tired
Anxious
Stressed

Positive:
Excited
Eager
Happy
Relieved
Anticipation

I may or may have not mentioned that I am almost at the end of the degree and this is (hopefully) my last subject, but I am pretty sure that I have not mentioned that this is a group project. Because I knew this course was a required thing for the degree, I intentionally did a “group project” a couple of semesters ago. The main reason was to see how I (personally) would work in a ‘group environment’. It turned out that I am a team player and we did very well…

So, now I am all set for this two-semester group project in 2008 then! Yeah, right!!! The powers in play had totally different plans for me. Towards the end of 2007, I somehow hurt my neck and suffered massive pain. My personal opinion, now, was that it was initially a pinched nerve and it got worse with muscles tightening but I’m not a doctor and nobody ever asked me my opinion, and of course, hindsight is always beautiful.

I am not a ‘drama queen’ – actually I can be but not when it comes to medical stuff – I distrust/dislike/hate that whole system when it involves me personally. More than happy for them ‘med dudes’ to try their stuff out on my boys but I do have the need to google it first… Thanks to the powers in control that my boys are all healthy!!!

Anyway, I finally ended up with a visit to the doctor (resulting in a needle for pain, a prescription for some seriously ‘nasty’ pain medications and a referral to a Physio). And so, decent patient that I am, agreed to all these requests, although I was highly, ‘disinclined to acquiesce to their request’ (courtesy of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie).

None of that helped until I ended up at a remedial massage therapist. She helped to fix me up more than all the other methods and I owe her a huge debt of gratitude! The pain has gone and most of my mobility has returned. My only loss has been of sensation and numbness down the right hand side of my left hand (forefinger tip for those interested). Makes for interesting typing though… Anyway this is now getting a little bit long so for now, the rest of that saga will have to wait (I fondly call it ‘my head smashing incident’)

Back to this week and pay attention now because this bit is important!
The most recent bit includes me actually scaring myself stupid! Of course, it involves Uni and the fact that there is now only one more Friday to go. For the uninitiated, Uni chooses a Friday for submitting stuff.

Anyway, last night (Thursday) as I was floating along, trying my best to get everything done, not harming any small (or big), annoying children and generally minding my own business cooking dinner when it suddenly hit me! An assignment or something equally important was due on Friday!

This was largely in part to a comment one of my group members made earlier in the week. Talk about a delayed reaction! I had been so sidetracked with why my stupid formula for the ‘required’ timesheet wasn’t working that I completely forgot about our ‘personal’ individual reports that we were supposed to submit separately today!!!

The end result is my stupid individual report is complete and submitted. But thank goodness for little comments that finally resurface when needed… Thanks D – you know who you are!

Take care
C

Back into Routine!

Well, we have successfully survived the first week back at school! Yay us! We slipped back into our well-practiced morning routine as if it were yesterday and not weeks ago! The only difference was D had a different uniform.

Our plan was to drop J and S off first because we know the school and it would be easier to find their classrooms and drop off them and book packs. We were then going to pop over to the high school and sort out D. Note I said that was our plan but, of course, it didn’t work out that way. We arrived at the primary school to discover that they too had slipped back into their morning routine too! In other words – everyone must wait in the undercover area until the first bell rings at 8:40! The first day back – really!!! I was not amused! I suggested to Dad that he take D to the high school and I would sort out the other two. (Note to self – always have a back up plan!)

While we waited I began to notice that some of the kids (and parents) were arriving in the undercover area, leaving and not returning… Being a curious person, I decided we needed to investigate, so off we trekked again. By now I am carrying both book packs and my fingers are no longer talking to me – except to hint at mutiny!

We arrived at the Year 1 room to discover it was open and the teachers were present! Yay again! Now, it has been a while since I’ve done the Year 1 thing but I did think I was immune to emotions! That sneaky teacher, though, had other plans for us veterans though! Under each child’s nametag was a small bag with a tissue, a teabag and a note that reads,

“Thank you for leaving your child in my care

I promise we’ll have lots of fun.

It’s ok to feel sad, or perhaps even glad

Your little one’s started Grade one!

Use the tissue if needed

Enjoy a cuppa or two

Please come back at three, and

I’ll return your loved one to you!”

And that’s when S started to cry! (And no - I hadn’t read that to him.)

Fortunately that first bell rang, so I HAD to leave because I still needed to get J to his classroom… Well, at least, that’s what I told S anyway…

On the way to the Year 5 room, J mentioned that he was feeling a bit nervous. J doesn’t tend to feel nervous, so that was not something I expected to hear from him. Being the good mum I am, I reassured him that he would be fine as he had the same teacher from last year and most of the kids would be the same. We arrived at his room and deposited his book pack (fingers immediately felt better) and we said goodbye. I was good and didn’t embarrass him by giving him a huge hug in front of his class mates – told you I was a good mum!

I left the school grounds, holding my little bag, and waited for Dad to come back. I was so proud of D. Apparently Dad took him to the high school and D told him that he would take it from there – he would sort himself out! And he did!!!

All 3 enjoyed their day and were full of news, excitement and homework!!!