Life is a funny old thing. It can throw all sorts of things at you and you cope. Or at least you try to. At the time, it might not feel like it but years later, when you look back, you suddenly realise, “Wow! I survived!” That’s life…
One of the hardest challenges a person can ‘survive’ is the death of a loved one. At the time, and for quite a while after, there are thoughts and feelings of guilt, anger, and sorrow.
Personally, I call them the “What-if?”, “How dare they? And “I miss them” stages. (Qualified professionals probably have much better names and more stages but they get paid more money and are obviously more educated than I am)
Regardless, none of the stages are any fun because the person left behind is simply that. The one left behind. The one who is left to deal with the emotions, feelings and memories of their loved one. (We simply do not know how the person who has moved on feels.)
Having said that, I’ve found it helpful to still talk to them as if they were still here. Tell them when you feel guilty, angry or sorrow. I also like to ‘celebrate’ occasions by burning a candle to honour the person and to light their way back into our home.
What I do truly and honestly believe is that no one who is truly loved is ever forgotten.
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