Time Flies

Wow! It has been absolutely ages since I last wrote anything! Quite a few things have happened … Foal turned 7, the silkworm eggs from last year have hatched, and I’m looking for a job.

The most important one was Foal’s birthday! I’m not sure which bit is more surprising – the fact that he survived until the age of 7, or the fact that I survived him turning 7 and didn't get locked away somewhere. Don’t misunderstand me because he really is a lovely boy. At least he is when things are going his way. When they don’t… well, let’s just leave it at the end of the world sounds like a lovely experience.

He was horribly spoiled on the actual day. Our tradition is Dad and I buy the presents (more on this bit in a moment), I wrap the presents and then I have to hide them around our home. I’m the one responsible for this last bit because when the boys were MUCH younger, they’d wake us up in the middle of the night wanting to open their pressies. Alright, I might be exaggerating that bit because it was more like 5 am. I am not a morning person so when I had the brilliant idea of hiding their pressies around the place, I figured it would buy me enough time to make my coffee. Cruel, I know but it worked – until they decided to search for stuff and then wake me up! And that’s only when they wanted to know if they’d found them all. I guess it’s a type of payback… Now every year they request the “Treasure Hunt” as it’s now called.

Buying of the presents is always interesting. Because all three boys tend to be very specific about what they want, they write detailed lists for us. They even indicate which ones are the more desirable. I know – very considerate of them.

Foal is no exception to this rule and the majority of objects on his list were Transformers. Actually, that’s all he had on his list with absolutely no room for negotiation. Personally, I blame the movie. How dare they bring out “Transformers 2” just before his birthday!

Anyway, Dad, the list, and I popped into the toyshop. Dad immediately picked up a huge (and obscenely expensive) Bumblebee. I told him that it’s the wrong one. He disagreed and the first discussion (read - argument) began. I’m sure it amused the staff but we finally ended up with “Fine! You can take it but you DO NOT get to choose anything else!” (Obviously that last comment was mine). I chose two other Transformers from his list, a stencil set, a slinky and a really cool bug robot for him.

The next morning our tradition began as usual. The other part of the tradition is that on school days, they can choose one present to open before school and the rest must wait. Because Dad starts work long before I’m even thinking about crawling out of bed, this rule has been amended. Now they can open one present with me, and then another when he gets home from work. I think that’s more than fair.

Foal’s first choice was the really brilliant stencil set and that’s probably because he couldn’t figure out what was inside. Due to the packaging of certain toys he’d already worked out that he had at least two transformers – he just didn’t need to know which ones yet.

His second choice was the present Dad had picked for him. Unfortunately, by the time Dad got home, he’d figured out what was inside. The stupid thing makes noises and all but told him its name.

Foal then declared that this was the worst day ever. First he got the stupid stencil thing and that wasn’t even on his list. And then he got the wrong size Transformer!

Lucky for him, he had school to go to! That cheered him right up! Ungrateful little creature!

Anyway, Dad and I recovered and while he was at school, I actually made him a cake. At the time I wondered whether he’d appreciate it but I did it anyway.

After school his day (and attitude) had improved. He finally decided that he had had a great birthday and the cake was the best ever! By the time he was in bed I put his initial cranky ungratefulness down to over-excitement and anticipation.

And a final message for Foal – If you should actually live long enough to read this, this whole post has been firmly tongue-in-cheek. This last bit is true.

I am extremely proud of you.
I admire your spirit, confidence and conviction.
Know and remember always that
I love you.

Pets and Phobia

When Foal was about 2 years old, Dad came up with a brilliant idea. The boys needed a pet.

The first problem was (and still is) that we rent and it can be really tricky to find rental properties that allow pets. Children – yes, but pets – no. Go figure…

The second problem was what sort of pet should we get. I’m more a cat person and Dad is more a dog person. I don’t like birds in cages and I do not want a hand-reared bird wandering all over the house leaving a mess behind it. We had already tried the fish tank experience and that can get really expensive when the stupid things keep eating the plant life. What’s even worse is that they die easily. If you so much as look at them funny, they roll over and play dead - except they do it for real.

Dad decided we should get some mice. Never mind the fact that we had just recently spent a few dollars on mouse traps to remove the ones that had wandered in on a cold night and decided to stay. As Pup says, Anywho…

I agreed to have a look at the rodents and we popped into a pet shop. I became rapidly bored at looking at all the ‘mouse accessories’. Who knew they needed so much stuff? I could hear puppies barking and kittens mewing and thought it might be a good experience for Foal to see them. And so I maneuvered him, and his stroller, towards the sounds.

Then, I looked up and spotted a giant rock python behind glass. That was when I ran screaming from the pet store. Leaving Foal abandoned in his stroller to fend for himself.

Dad followed fairly quickly. At least he had the hindsight to rescue the child. He was extremely embarrassed by my ‘display’ and asked if I’d heard the shop attendant yelling, “It’s not real!”

My main question then, was if the “Rock Python” was not real, why was it behind glass?

The only funny thing about that whole incident, was that it truly was a “Rock Python”.

Introductions and Meetings

A few Friday afternoons ago I could hear a young girl calling for Pup. Absolutely convinced I was hearing things I hopped up to investigate. Especially since no other male in the home heard this. But no, my ears were not messing around with me, there was definitely a young girl, friend close behind, standing at the bottom of our driveway calling for Pup.

Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) I recognized the girl calling for Pup. It was GA’s next-door neighbour’s daughter, Little Miss K. To give her some credit, she actually blushed when she saw me but she didn’t miss a beat.

Little Miss K: Hi Carolyn. Can Pup come out to play?
Me: No, sorry sweetheart, not today. He’s been a bit sick. (I might just add that I have never seen that boy get out of his PJ's so fast but I won't)

Before you start on me being 'all overprotective and all'- he had NOT been at school for the last 2 days and I didn't think it was right that he should be running around the park with anyone!

After seeing her disappointment, I told her that he should be right by Saturday. No flies on this girl because she’s then asked if Cub was free. I said yes and the three of them wandered off to the park.

Her mate was Little Miss M and it turns out that she shares our back fence. She has a stupid Doberman and she reckons that, “Hey, we can jump the fence at anytime!”

Just to catch everyone up:
- Pup is in Year 8 at school
- Little Miss M is in Year 7
- Little Miss K is in Year 5
- Cub is in Year 5

Quite obviously, Little Miss M knew all along that we shared the back fence but she was very surprised when I asked about her dog by it’s name. I then told the girls that it’s not a good idea to just hop the fence because sometimes Nana, Pops and their dog, Shayla, are here. (Shayla will simply not let just anyone 'hop the fence')

Since that Friday afternoon, the girls have since:
- Asked to hop the fence to play a game of cricket with the boys (permission given),
- Taken all three of my boys to the park a few times. (Foal is brilliant as a chaperone because he’s more than happy to tell – perfect age!)

The last time the girls turned up at our front door, they got the chance to actually meet Shayla. That is if you consider an introduction behind a fly screen door with two adults (Pops and I) close by.

It's not that us adults were paranoid, mind you. Shayla loves kids but I have no idea of how she might feel about another female stealing Pup (her absolute favourite) away from her. Pops wanted to take Shayla for a walk down to the park but we agreed that that would be called spying on his grandsons.

Anyhow, after their introduction, Little Miss K admitted that she was very relieved that they didn’t climb the fence...

I do think that interesting days lie ahead.

Toothfairy Sagas

Foal has lost his first top tooth.

Literally.

He has absolutely no idea where it is. One minute it was right there, in his mouth where it belonged. Admittedly, it was very loose but all of a sudden – Poof – it was gone.

We searched everywhere (his leftover breakfast cereal, his bed and bedroom floor and I reckon he swallowed it) but it still hadn’t turned up by bedtime. So we (he) wrote a note to the Toothfairy explaining what had happened and said we were sorry. He’s then decided that the letter needed to go in an envelope and that the envelope must be stuck onto the front of the microwave oven’s door.

And so, that’s exactly what we did. Maybe Foal thought the Toothfairy was going to rip out another of his teeth and get a "two for the price of one" deal. I’m a bit unsure of the details behind his reasoning but I’m learning that sometimes it’s best not to ask. (Read the previous post)

Funnily enough, something similar happened to Pup when he lost his first top tooth. He rinsed his mouth out and it went down the sink. He then tried to hide the fact that he had this massive gap in his mouth from me. It took me all of 2 seconds for me to notice. He was so amazed at my powers of observation (I’m not really sure what that says about me) but at least he readily admitted to what had happened. I got Dad to undo the pipes under the sink and check to see if it was still there but unfortunately it was gone. That’s when our notes to the Toothfairy started.

Ever since then, Pup has been quite content to leave the tissue-wrapped tooth on his bedside table. Even now he is more than happy to remind me that the Toothfairy forgot again (Growing up with the benefits of childhood?)

Cub, on the other hand, was absolutely determined that not one single tooth disappeared without his knowledge. He also decided that the Toothfairy must have a challenge. (Does he not want the money?)

His rules are simple:
- It must not be on the bedside table. (Pup’s thing, obviously he can’t copy that, he's an original)
- It must not be in a slipper by the door (Like I used to do, you know, in the old days, before dinosaurs)
- It must not be in any other room of the home. (Foal’s thing, but he wasn’t really old enough to start it)
- It must be inside the center of the pillowcase, on the other side of the pillow (because he doesn’t want to lie on something uncomfortable)

And finally, just a quick note to the Toothfairy
---------------------------------------------------

Dear Toothfairy,

I know you can get a bit busy especially after sugar filled holidays, but you do seem to forget sometimes.

I’m not complaining but mum says you could be running late because of bad weather, or my tooth fell out after you left for work and now I’m not on today's list.

I am sure you don’t want to start a playground war so I’ve been wondering:
- What is the going rate for teeth these days?
- Does it change depending on which tooth falls out?
- Is there a bonus incentive for really clean teeth or bravery when a dead tooth has to be pulled out?
- Is there an age limit?

Thank you for a job well done,
From
Me

PS We are still not sure if you are a boy or girl, so don't be upset if we get it wrong

Mother's Day

I’m fairly intelligent so I’ve noticed that absolutely every single person has a mum. I know – major news flash! Not about my intelligence (mainly because the jury tends to disappear on that question) but the mum bit… Admittedly, some mums are absolutely brilliant and some mums should simply not exist! Who am I to pass sentence? Until recently, I thought I was a fairly decent sort of mum. This was the chat where I found out the truth.

The scene: Cub in the bath with me washing his hair and the conversation was as follows:

Cub: Do you ever feel bad about some things?
Me: Yes, sometimes… (Thinking, “We’re sharing a moment”)
Cub: Like what?
Me: Oh… like sometimes I don’t think I’m a good mum.
Cub: Yes! Me too!
(There was a bit of a pause so I could rinse the shampoo out. Actually, I was trying to digest this bit of information. I was also trying to figure out whether he had figured out that he was in an extremely vulnerable position – you know with him in the bath and all. Anyhow, after deciding that I would rather not go to prison, I chose another tactic)

Me: Do you think you are always a good son?
Cub: Yes! Always!
In one respect, he is honest. At their primary school, the P&C provide stalls for every occasion, for example: Mothers Day/Fathers Day/Christmas… When it comes to buying a present for Mother’s Day, he is a good son. Actually, they all are. Normally.

Each year I’ve given them a $5 note. Each. Yes, I’m the first to admit that I want something fantastic.

Over the years, with the $5 note I have given each of them, I have ended up with 2 coffee cups, a candle in a watering can, and numerous necklaces and bracelets made for a 1 year old.

Seriously.

My wrist is 14 cm all round (I know I just checked) and the bracelets cut off all the blood flow to my fingers. I can’t measure my neck because I don’t like things around it. Maybe I could sell them to the mafia…

I’m not allowed to burn the ‘candle-in-the-watering-can’ (Foal’s present, “In case it runs out”) But I’m supposed to wear the strangling things?

The coffee cups were the best ever yet! I almost had a complete set but the P&C no longer get their supplies from the same place.

Each year, the boys have ended up with the change from the $5 note.

This year, with Pup being in high school and all, where they obviously don’t do the stall or make cards in class, conned Dad into taking him to the shop.

Because I still want something fantastic, I gave my blessing and off they went.

To Toy World.

I can hardly wait for morning.

To all the Mums out there:
May all your necklace and bracelets be too small and you can experience my joy.
Especially if you actually get the brand new advertised washing machine/iron/or my personal favourite – a real chainsaw! We all need one of those!

Thanks to all the mums out there! We wouldn’t be here without you. (Told you I was a genius)

Conversations

The best one I had this week:

On Friday, I heard footsteps across the grass, and up the driveway to our front door. Even though Dad was closer to the front door, I hopped up from the computer to investigate.

It was NDN (Next-Door-Neighbour – Remember the 75-year-old-bloke who caught me tiptoeing barefoot and unshowered across his lawn to return his mail?) Actually, Dad didn’t even hear the footsteps across the grass and up the path and was extremely surprised at my anticipation of the door knock.

After we’ve exchanged greetings, NDN said, “Sorry to bother you! How much do you know about computers?”

I’ve replied with, “A fair bit. Why?” (Always curious)

NDN mumbled a whole bunch of stuff, that to be quite honest I didn’t quite get but there was something about an hourglass that has been sitting on his screen, and won’t go away OR let him do anything else.

I agreed to take a look – but only AFTER I’ve put my shoes on.

After explaining to Dad where I was going, why, and to rescue me if it took more than an hour, I walked next door. I left my shoes at the front door and NDN's shown me his computer. I noticed that almost half his computer icons are in Chinese! No wonder he has a problem! But how the bloody hell am I supposed to work with that?

I had a look and it appeared that his web browser had frozen. That’s when it occurred to me that he might actually have been downloading something I didn’t really want to know about.

I ended up shutting down his browser – very entertaining when the messages pop up in Chinese and NDN insisted on talking about other stuff. I felt like I was being rude by moving through the whole process but I did manage to reopen his browser to almost the page he was on last… He was actually researching ‘Properties’, not anything naughty. Thank goodness!

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The whole experience was not as funny as the time that other bloke turned up at our front door with his girlfriend close behind. We were actually on our way out, so I was already at the door. Not that I’m paranoid, actually I can be so don’t tell anyone, but I also keep the fly screen door locked at all times. He walked purposefully up to our doorway and tried to open it! When it didn’t oblige, he looked up and saw me standing there, watching him.

He said, accusingly, “Your door’s locked.”

All I could say was, “Yes, I know.”

Then he’s responded with, “You’re not Lisa!”

I replied with, “Yes, I know!”

Turned out he was at the wrong house – he needed to be at the next one over! As his girlfriend said, “How embarrassment!”

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Back to NDN: I forgot to mention his partner and her daughter are Chinese BUT he still caught me unshowered. At least, this time I had my shoes on - from my home to his and then back again…

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ANZAC Day – We have candles burning to honour the people who have fought, and continue to fight, for and on our behalf. We’ve also played the song, “We are Australian” twice . (Foal’s request) I've also had to show my citizenship certificate. We all agree that one still looks better than my degree…

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Parent-Teacher Interviews 2009 (Part 3/3)

Pup bought home his first term report from high school. To be honest, I did expect some surprises but not the ones I actually received. Pup was actually equally surprised and initially didn’t want to show me his ‘interim’ report card. His (and mine) main issue was the behaviour bit. I do not have rose-coloured glasses or blinkers on when it comes to my kids. He stands up for himself, but he is respectful and quiet and shy. He does not cause a problem anywhere – except maybe for home! But if he can’t do that here, then where can he? Personally, I’d prefer they tried it all the bad behaviour at home first – but maybe that’s just me… Anyway,

Two teachers requested interviews, so as you do, I decided to meet ALL of them. Actually, I didn’t want any of them to feel left out but I also wanted to make sure that they all knew exactly about which child they were talking about…

Of course, it rained massively on the afternoon of the scheduled interviews,
So of course, I was running late. And so of course, there was no parking, and I had to park in the muddy bit but we did turn up!

I made Pup come with me. It may be cruel but I think that if his teachers have something to say about him, then he should be there to hear it first hand.

Pup’s SOSE teacher really laid into him. I mean that in a good way because she basically tried to explain that he is not in primary school anymore. And “No! His assignment was not up to scratch, here’s a sample of what I want. Try again. You have tonight. Hand it in tomorrow.” (After that, she added that he is well behaved and a pleasure to teach)

Pup’s Science teacher seemed to really take a genuine interest in him and kept telling him to stay on track and not follow the crowd later in their school career.

Pup’s English teacher was a classic! Absolutely totally off the planet! I mean no disrespect to him but he was seriously cuckoo! He called us over and then greeted Pup by another name. We corrected him and he apologized. Then, the Teacher pulled out a sample of work to show me how well Pup was doing. He got a ‘B’. Then we got to point out to him that it was NOT Pup’s work. He’s replied with, “No! Of course not! Here’s Pup’s! Oh look! He’s also got a ‘B!” (In my opinion he had absolutely no idea who HE was, never mind who anyone else was)

And almost finally, we reached the first of the ‘required parent interviews’.

She tried to explain to me Pup’s ‘animation’ and how it was Oh! So! Wrong!
Pup said, “That wasn’t mine.”
She said, “I’ve saved it on my laptop so I can show you. But it’s still charging…”
I’ve replied, “Off you go. We’ll wait.”
She had a major problem showing me Pup’s work on her laptop – something about it not saving properly… By now, I’m thinking SHE didn’t save it properly? (Feel free to insert your own swear words)

Needless to say, she ended up very confused and tried to cover it up with “technical talk”. You know, the bits I shouldn’t understand because, obviously, another female could not possibly understand those details… But there again, I gave her enough clues that showed that I knew what she was talking about and she still didn’t pick them up.

She was still unsuccessful and will hopefully check Pup’s stuff out – That’s all we ask. That's all the polite bits I have to say about her for now....

The final ‘required parent interviews’ had a queue a mile long. So much for making appointments –that one at 17h00! After looking at the other parents still waiting, I ended up calling it quits at 17H25 and made an appointment to talk to him via phone. ) Don’t forget we had to finish the SOSE homework properly.)

As I write this, I am still waiting for Mr P (Maths) to call…