The Simple Truth is: That Friends Come and Go

Funny how life can be sometimes. Just when you think you have it figured out, something pops up to remind you just how much you still have to learn. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot protect your children from everything.

When Pup was born, I promised him that I would never let anything happen to him. Obviously that isn’t true or even remotely possible because he has his own lessons to learn. The first time I figured that out was when he started primary school. The second time, the lesson was reinforced by that “Finding Nemo” movie. Obviously I am still yet to learn this lesson because it simply has not sunk in.

For reasons of her own, I’ve long suspected that GA has ‘strongly encouraged’ the friendship between the boys. We changed primary schools when they were in Year 2 and she followed.

According to his mum, if he didn’t go to the same high school as Pup, he simply wouldn’t attend.
According to his mum, he is always so desperate to come to our place (including Christmas Day).
According to his mum, he has thoughts that are far beyond his capabilities.

I write this with pure honesty because the boy does have problems with learning, co-ordination and memory. This obviously does not include the stuff he is interested in. But as a mum of 3 boys, I thought that was simply a male trait. Although, I must confess I have the same problem…maybe it’s contagious!

Now the high school era has started and there are more fish in the pond, her son seems to be trying his very best to meet them all. I guess I should be proud that he is actually trying his best at something, but I’m more disappointed with his attitude. The nicest way of putting it is that along the way, he is distancing himself from Pup. The truth is though, that he is not doing it in a ‘nice’ way. I won’t go into details because I will be here forever but suffice to say that Pup is feeling hurt, betrayed and confused. We’ve had few chats, and let him know that we, Nana and Pops are here for him.

The upside is that one of the ‘fish’ live up the road from ‘The Friend’ and has visited there a few times. With GA’s encouragement, they walked to our place, so now the new ‘Potential Friend’ knows where we live. I told Pup to let him know he is welcome to visit here too. He did, and I was really looking forward to today for two reasons. First, I want to tackle ‘The Friend’ on some ‘issues’ – mainly that bullying is not acceptable! I feel I have that right because I have known him for so long, and if his mum doesn’t deal with it either through ignorance or blinkers then I will. And second, I wanted to know whether ‘Potential Friend’ would turn up solo or not.

Final result? ‘Potential Friend’ turned up solo. And stayed all day! Seems very polite, makes eye contact when talking but didn’t want lunch. I have a problem with that because kids (people) need to eat. We have an ‘Open Cupboard’ policy, where you can eat what’s in the fridge or cupboard but when it’s gone – too bad! I did tell him that but he didn’t feel comfortable or ready to check them out until it was almost time for him to go home (he has to be home by 5).

Nana and Pops gave us some frozen mango (I love mango but don’t buy them because they cost too much – I have expensive taste). I defrosted some and offered them around. He declined at first but then admitted he had never tried one. I replied, “Probably because they cost more than they are worth, I don’t buy them. Have a taste” To his credit, he did and now likes mango! (Sorry to his mum who might now have a request for mangoes on the shopping list)

I'm ready to let go of my friendship with GA but is Pup? With love and support he might be...

Take care,
C

PS – I don’t like the word ‘nice’ it is too easy to use and covers far too many other better words.