Mother's Day

I’m fairly intelligent so I’ve noticed that absolutely every single person has a mum. I know – major news flash! Not about my intelligence (mainly because the jury tends to disappear on that question) but the mum bit… Admittedly, some mums are absolutely brilliant and some mums should simply not exist! Who am I to pass sentence? Until recently, I thought I was a fairly decent sort of mum. This was the chat where I found out the truth.

The scene: Cub in the bath with me washing his hair and the conversation was as follows:

Cub: Do you ever feel bad about some things?
Me: Yes, sometimes… (Thinking, “We’re sharing a moment”)
Cub: Like what?
Me: Oh… like sometimes I don’t think I’m a good mum.
Cub: Yes! Me too!
(There was a bit of a pause so I could rinse the shampoo out. Actually, I was trying to digest this bit of information. I was also trying to figure out whether he had figured out that he was in an extremely vulnerable position – you know with him in the bath and all. Anyhow, after deciding that I would rather not go to prison, I chose another tactic)

Me: Do you think you are always a good son?
Cub: Yes! Always!
In one respect, he is honest. At their primary school, the P&C provide stalls for every occasion, for example: Mothers Day/Fathers Day/Christmas… When it comes to buying a present for Mother’s Day, he is a good son. Actually, they all are. Normally.

Each year I’ve given them a $5 note. Each. Yes, I’m the first to admit that I want something fantastic.

Over the years, with the $5 note I have given each of them, I have ended up with 2 coffee cups, a candle in a watering can, and numerous necklaces and bracelets made for a 1 year old.

Seriously.

My wrist is 14 cm all round (I know I just checked) and the bracelets cut off all the blood flow to my fingers. I can’t measure my neck because I don’t like things around it. Maybe I could sell them to the mafia…

I’m not allowed to burn the ‘candle-in-the-watering-can’ (Foal’s present, “In case it runs out”) But I’m supposed to wear the strangling things?

The coffee cups were the best ever yet! I almost had a complete set but the P&C no longer get their supplies from the same place.

Each year, the boys have ended up with the change from the $5 note.

This year, with Pup being in high school and all, where they obviously don’t do the stall or make cards in class, conned Dad into taking him to the shop.

Because I still want something fantastic, I gave my blessing and off they went.

To Toy World.

I can hardly wait for morning.

To all the Mums out there:
May all your necklace and bracelets be too small and you can experience my joy.
Especially if you actually get the brand new advertised washing machine/iron/or my personal favourite – a real chainsaw! We all need one of those!

Thanks to all the mums out there! We wouldn’t be here without you. (Told you I was a genius)